I am starting to relish the idea that I might look lame on Facebook to other people. That I might look antisocial and withdrawn and uninteresting on the internet. Because lately the last thing I want is the opposite of those.
I don’t want anyone to know anything about me. The more I change and the more I draw inside myself, the less people know me, and the more powerful I feel. I am private. Internal. Powerful.
Tonight I laid on the carpet in the dark and listened to Everything is Talking by The Long Winters and felt all at once like a caricature of myself, and that I could just stay in that warm and fuzzy place forever and not care about anything else ever again. I don’t care about anything. I want to not. I like to not. All I need is this feeling.
Sometimes I stand in the shower and think about how pointless it all is. But I don’t even care. I just keep washing my hair or face or whatever it is I’m doing. Then I get out and I get dressed and I do something else. It’s beautiful isn’t it?
I really really really like not caring. I am much less concerned with being happy these days. Which is sad? But it’s honestly a nice change. I like the cozy little darkness that is my head these days.
I don’t know why, and I just don’t care to dissect it. I just don’t care at all.
Here’s a group shot from today’s meetup of the “Corgi Nation” at the Huntington Dog Beach in Huntington Beach, California. Red heads, sables, red-head tris, black-head tris, pemmies with tails, cardis, blue merles, and fluffies were all represented. An awesome day by the sea! Woof!
I counted more than 49 corgis! HOLY CORGASBORG! THAT IS A LOTTA CORG!!!
agree! people who go to coachella can be annoying. people who get annoyed at those people are also annoying. basically everyone should just calm down and stop getting mad at other people for being annoying because we are all annoying and terrible the majority of the time.