June 2010
69 posts
I miss Harry Potter.
May 2010
59 posts
Never eat a rice cake when you have a headache.
You might as well chew on a handful of rocks. That are singing Aerosmith.
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Three things that make me glamorous:
I’m waiting for the bus (1) in the rain (2) in a t-shirt (3).
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“I need an Intervention intervention.”
– Me, last night, after watching four episodes in a row of Intervention with Kelsey.
We said we would stop after every single one, but the next one would start too quickly and hook us within seconds.
We could. not. stop.
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Why, Universe, why?
Why must the entire office smell like grilled cheese?
Am I being punished? I knew I should have read that forward from my grandma yesterday.
iPhones as they relate to listening.
Michael: (talking to someone else)
Michael: (still talking to someone else)
Michael: Haley.
Me: What?
Michael: I was talking to you.
Me: OH sorry. What were you saying?
Michael: I was talking about how you never listen to me...I shit you not.
(One minute later.)
Michael: ...but you're not even listening are you?
Me: Oh sorry. I was writing a post about you saying I never listen to you.
Michael: ...WHILE you are continuing to not listen to me. You are unreal.
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I knew I loved this song within the first 30...
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The Flaming Lips didn't change my life.
D: You don't like "DO YOU REALIZE."
Me: Yes I do. But you said my "life would become everything before it and after it." That was just way too lofty of a review.
D: Your room that is kind of above the living room and accessible only by ladder is way too lofty.
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Current Status
Reading my 16-year-old self’s diary. It is rather hysterical. I have zero recollection of writing any of it.
I just read:
“Except that I wont have a job! Well I can’t go searching until I get my braces off and get treated like a real human being and not a child.”
Oh, the trauma of braces. I love old diaries.
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Me: Someone just asked me to fax something.
D: Don't hit your fingers with your mallet while you chisel that fax.
Betty White: Hi, I'm Betty White and I'm hosting Saturday Night Live this week with musical guest Jay-Z.
Kristen Wiig: I have to say you look amazing, you are sharp as a tack, and haven't missed a beat over the years.
Betty White: Well, you are very sweet, Jay-Z.
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JOIN IN UNLOCKING THE INTERNET MYSTERY.
Hey…remember Gobblestix?
The meat equivalent of string cheese?
If you don’t, I’m sorry. But you probably don’t remember because you once ate a Gobblestix (What would the singular be there? I don’t want to compromise the x.) and the chemicals wiped out your long-term memory. It’s okay. It was probably worth it.
Depending on your level of interest in Gobblestix...
A Love Letter
Dear Flonase,
I’m not sure if it’s your perfect combination of chemicals, or your horrible smell (or is it a taste?) that keeps me coming back, but every spring I find myself standing in front of a person in a white coat as they tell me to spray you in my nose twice a day. I don’t think I can ever quit you, Flonase. I got more of you today. I’m a total junky. Please...
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“I am very comfortable in my skin. I can move through very very small areas...”
– Merlin Mann as Lanolin Sparks in The Noises Rest
WatchThe Noises Rest by You Look Nice Today
No. I am still not over this.
If you have not seen this then you need to drop everything right now, and do so.
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WatchI recently rewatched the Helvetica documentary.
Erik Spiekermann, a German typographer and designer, is one of my favorite interviews in the film.
If you like Helvetica, or typeface in general, watch this.
(2:56)
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Watchmerlin:
Elephant Larry - Minesweeper: The Movie
“WHY ARE YOU HERE?”
“TO MAKE THIS LAND SAFE!”
“WHY ARE YOU HERE?”
“BECAUSE I’M BORED!”
“DON’T YOU EVER FORGET THAT.”
