August 2010
39 posts
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“What’s it called when you don’t want anyone to see your computer...”
– Andy
“I guess this might be a good time for Dad and I to offer some apologies on the...”
– My mother in an email to me and my two siblings
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Me: I absolutely hate the word 'twinsies.'
Andy: Oh my god me too...
....TWINSIES!
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At Least Ken Mehlman Isn't Also A Muslim
chriskelly:
This week, Ken Mehlman told The Atlantic that he is a homosexual. For those of you that don’t know, Ken is a former Republican Party Chairman and was the campaign director for George W. Bush’s 2004 re-election bid that was so full of anti-gay rhetoric it made me cry as hard as someone seven-to-ten times gayer than myself. Which is pretty gay, because I tear up almost once a day as...
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“I don’t know what the fuss is about. It’s just a cat.”
– Mary Bale, the 45-year-old Coventry resident who sparked an uproar when CCTV footage of her casually tossing a tabby in a garbage bin surfaced on the Internet.
[dailymail.]
(via thedailywhat)
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“Did you know that scientists have performed extensive research and concluded...”
– Who else? (via ampersandbox)
I said this. Nine months ago. Can’t believe I forgot about this great party fact.
Let this serve as a reminder to all.
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“Don’t be intimidated. World travelers are just people who bought plane tickets....”
– Maggie Berry
Baby steps.
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Duke growled at me and I’m never cleaning my ears again.
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Wherein a black fellow attempts to chat my friend...
Him: Are you two sisters?
Us: No ...
Him: Well you look a lot alike.
Me: Is it because we're white?!
Him: [laughing to tears for a solid 5 minutes]
.
.
This is a reblog. Even though it doesn't look like one, it is. Also, I wish it happened to me. So badly. I find that I say that a lot. Like my friend who got chased down by a cop in a parking lot after she ate a malt ball from the candy aisle while grocery shopping. She had to pay a fee of $75.25. 75 dollars for stealing, 25 cents for the malt ball. Too funny. Too funny.
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Esquire: INVASION →
“There are billions of humans on earth, and trillions upon trillions of ants — an estimated 1.6 million for every human being. If the earth were a scale, and all the humans were placed on one side and all the ants on the other, it would not budge. Ants have answered the ever-expanding human biomass with an ever-expanding biomass of their own, so that the planet is poised, teetering between...
Give me gyro or give me death.
